With so many things to think about during this time of year, I still feel optimistic about what the rest of the year has to offer. Just like in all the races I have EVER done; I have never quit, or dropped out of a race, which parallels the teaching predicament I am in, which is not to quit. Being a first year teacher can have its toll on life, and the things you love the most. So, just as all the books and people that attempt to prepare you for your first year say, "it's going to be hell, so just get through it!", you never quite believe them... until you're the one being burned alive by all the chaos that chars your soul.
Well, back to the optimistic view I was talking about. Basically, I don't have much longer at this school and I have greatly narrowed down what avenue of teaching I want to pursue, or more importantly where I don't want to be. And once my emotional stability comes back to me, and I can breath again, I will set my eyes on a fast fall marathon! One that will capture the new Olympic Trials Standard (2:15-A, 2:18-B) and boost my love for life. I know nothing is life is going to be perfect, and that (God forbid) our school doesn't end up as a target for a shooter, or sociopath bent of murder and self glory, but when I hear my students screaming that they hate their life, it just doesn't sit well with me. It could be worse. I feel jaded by the tendencies these troubled kids act towards one another, and can't help but accept that we as humans are doomed. More likely, I am failing as a teacher, and can't direct them to NOT: lie, steal, or cheat. Their evil nature is too much for me... but I must go on. No matter how cruel and unsympathetic they are towards each other, I figure, if I can survive the negativity that boils within a young child and just attempt to show them that someone cares and will make an effort to make them better, then a 26.2 mile foot race will be nothing. Heck, 2:12 for that distance will be nothing! This is great mental training, and I need to get the best out of it, while hoping to change someone for the good (but that's not really going to happen, since they already have a mom/dad).
Okay, now that I've stated how much I hate some of my students, and can fully understand the criminal system, I can move on.
The Marathon! One race I have grown to love ever since I ran my first one. This is such an amazing event, and I can't express how much I wish I could do all the courses in the world! Since, that will never happen, I will be picky on what courses I run, and how I train for each of those races. Boston had been on my mind since 2008, and I've wanted to run this race more than any other race (except for the Olympic Trials, and Olympic Games Marathon). And in only 8 weeks, that dream could come true. The excitement is killing me!