Saturday, March 2, 2013

The Mighty Mustache

I can't quite call the small patch of hair above my lip a full fledged "Mighty Mustache", but I can flirt with the idea that hair is definitely protruding from that area.  At a quick glance from a safe distance, it looks full and established, but the curiosity will gravitate you in and see the realness that is occurring.  The spectrum of uncertainty is mindbogglingly as most men will complement that it looks good with reinsurance, whereas most women will question my sanity and judgement as a modern day human that has access to grooming equipment.  As if asking, "do you know you can shave that off?", or the more common question of, "why?".  Sometimes words don't even have to be expressed when a wondering eye makes contact with the "Mighty Mustache".  The sheer look of disgust is written all over their faces, but as in both incidents, I believe it to be jealousy.  Women can't grow one, and other intelligent men know better than to grow one, unless they too already have a fuller more vibrant Mustache.  And until I can get mine to be in the distinction of a worthy Mustache with a capital "M" I shall do the following to improve my "Manly" Mustache:

1. Smell freshly cut wood
2. Conduct a staring contest with a taxidermy bear
3. Catch a butterfly...... in the middle of winter
4. Play the violin

And most importantly... Not to shave my upper lip.

This madness will be over soon, and I shall not attempt this hideous look until Movember rolls around.  So, as my loving and supportive girlfriend puts up with the itchy and scratchy feeling my mustache provides, I will soon be shaving it all off upon completion of the 2013 Boston Marathon!  Thank you Arlene for always loving me for who I am, as suppose to what grows above my lip.  And for those of you with a more notable and prominent Mustache, I congratulate you.  Well Done!
The sadness and reality.  More to come.


Desert Dirt said...

Jesse - If you got a chance to see any of last weekend's National Indoor meet, in particular the performance of Will 'the stache' Leer, you'd have all the validation you need to pursue continuing work on the mustache. You think the guy could rock a 3:58 in the shadow of the Sandias without that stache? Not a chance.

Moustache = baller

Milady said...


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